Daylight Savings....

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Turning back the clock:

One hour: An hour ago, I was finishing up the last few things I need to get done before another week begins.

One day: Yesterday was filled with Halloween festivities. I love the holidays, especially Halloween! Yesterday I was Batgirl.

One week: A week ago, I was thinking about working on my book... but then didn't because it was too overwhelming to start because I don't have enough time to really work on it how I would like.

One month: A month ago I was obsessed with a cabin up a canyon by me. I wanted to move there and live for a year and write my book. It is sooo beautiful, with a river and these huge trees! But... it was an insane amount of money for a small, albeit heavenly, cabin.

One year: One year ago I was at the same job, same house. My eyes were brighter, Im sure. I had plans, which I didn't know yet weren't going to happen. I had drive and dedication. I think I am in a place now where I am just surviving day by day and trying to pay attention to the good moments inbetween. And those moments are there. You just have to focus on them.

Turning the clock back today for daylight savings, thankful it's only an hour.

What will you do with you day today? Make it count.

what's your story?

“YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME PERSON YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.”

"... EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS JUST A STORY THAT WE’VE MADE UP TO HELP US ORGANIZE THIS REALITY ANYWAY. AND SINCE IT’S ONLY A STORY – FEEL FREE TO CHANGE IT AT ANY TIME." -JASON MRAZ

I really like this little saying, from the ever-wise Mr. Mraz. I like it because Its a free pass to take control again. If you dont like what's going on in your life... just change it.

I know, it might be an over-simplification, but you are the author of your own story. So just make it be what you want it to be.

whats my story? Today I am: Girl, Wife, step-mom, daughter, sister, aspiring writer, bored with day-job, dying to get to use all my creative juices, lives for fun-everything else is just filler, blondie, mildly funny, clever, crafty, scrapy (thanks hubby), tender-hearted, animal lover, writer and hopeful author, sleepy but not ready to let go of the day yet.

I have had a few pretty major life-changing things happen to me in my life that really altered who I am. But I am pretty comfortable with where I have ended up, and the person I am today.

I am excited for when I have more time to do this blog.... I always have ideas and things to say, but it is hard to make the time right now. Hopefully soon.

For now, I just have to be content with who I am today.

what's your story?

Friday at 5:00

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There is nothing better than staring down the barrel of Friday at 5:00. It means freedom (FINALLY! Could this week have gotten any longer???). It means TIME to myself. It means family and fun and relaxing. This weekend will be especially nice for me because I have purposely made it so I do not have a gazillion (yep that's a real number... comes right after 999 kajillion) things that I HAVE to do. I am trying to avoid putting myself into situations where Im hating myself for saying YES to something.

Things that I currently regretting saying YES to:

1) My current job- Why did I think I should be in any sort of financial industry again?
2) To do everyone in my family's hair... I have kind of a big family...
3) To have a bunch of my mom's "overflow" house stuff in my basement...really, REALLY mom? Can we pu-leeze throw some of it away?? I PROMISE you won't miss it!
4) To do P90X again tonight- Ugh.... Tony is so demanding!
5) To have our personal health insurance come through my company- It's like crazy expensive and yet still chains me to my job since my husband is self employed.
6) To do the laundry (my LEAST favorite housework... I can do really really good up until the putting it away stage... I have been known to need to take clean laundry out of a basket in order to put the next week's clean laundry into it..) (But, just so you know... other than that, my house is pretty clean.. lest you think Im some sort of slob!)

Things I do not regret saying NO to:

1) No meat in my diet anymore- Damn you SkinnyBitch book. I went off of meat cold turkey (ha thats funny... REALLY no pun intended...)
2) Not to do hair at night after work- Come on, how much WORKING can a person TAKE in one day??

hmmm. why is it sooo much harder for me to think of things I have said NO to? I think I have a problem with being a "pleaser."

BUT, I digress...
Right now, I live for Friday's at 5:00. This is when I am the very most happy. It's like some sort of Zen settles on me and just makes everything fantastic. My favorite thing to do on the weekend is... lets see, what do we even call it? Wandering? Let me explain.

My husband and I begin by getting coffee or some sort of delicious beverage. We get into our car and have no particular plan. We just... end up.. places. Its so fun because it's never the same and we never get bored of doing it! Some places our "wanderings" have taken us: all sorts of model homes, fairs, every kind of store imaginable, canyons, other states, family's houses, car shopping, movies, farmer's markets, lots of restaurants, Vegas... ok ok, it was when we lived there... I guess I could go on but how can I infuse the FUN-NESS that we feel, into this description? Maybe I will have to take pictures and show you what I mean.

Im sure part of it is because luckily I am married to the best man in the world (sorry girls... hopefully there are some good runner's up out there for ya) and we genuinely have the best time together. He's really really funny so most of our wanderings, he is cracking me up about something or other.

Anyway, it is our favorite past time and very "us-ish."

Im hoping my weekend will consist of some wanderings with my man, through our city (Not really sure if I can call it a city... well, where I live) and possible a movie or two, followed by some wine and time to work on my book.

I hope that you all have a great Friday and a lovely weekend. Spend it with people you love, doing things you love, and feel free to be honest with yourself and say NO if you don't want to do something. It's ok, just say the dizzy little chat girl gave you permission.

signing off....

new signature

Highlight of my day at work:
my new signature for this blog...

the pursuit of happiness

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I recently sat in on a presentation about Independence and Freedom. The topic of the Declaration of Independence was discussed, specifically about the "pursuit of happiness." The speaker was contending that younger people (he pointed at me) seem to have a sense of entitlement- almost flippancy towards what they think is "owed" to them. He asks people every time he does this presentation what freedom and independence mean to them. He said that the younger generation always say things like, "freedom from oppression, freedom from governmental rule, freedom from doing things I don't want to do, etc." The speaker pointed out that our founding fathers wanted to be industrious, they wanted the freedom to think for themselves, to be hardworking, independent, honest, and to be good citizens. They wanted freedom to evolve into better people, though hard work.

I thought it was interesting the difference indicated in the ways the different generations think of freedom. He said the younger generation wants freedom FROM, not freedom TO...

I hope that I do not fall into that category. I was raised to be thankful and to work hard. I can honestly say that I have worked for everything that I have. But I'm sure I also could have worked harder and attained more. I probably could have kept my mind on things of importance more- things that actually have value, like relationships with those around me, or learning more about other cultures, thoughts and places. I wonder how much I could have accomplished in my life if I didn't watch TV... I wonder how much more kids would use their imaginations without the X-box or Wii.

I wonder how much more grateful I would be for my job if I had ever not been allowed to work, or had been dictated what occupation I would have. I hope that I am appreciative enough of those who have gone before me, that I learn their stories and try to emulate some of the values they fought for.

There is a scene in "The Hurt Locker" where a man who's job it is to diffuse bombs during a war, is home on leave. You have seen him be in these insane and very intense situations and now he is in the grocery store with his wife- you can tell he feels out of place. His wife asks him to please go pick some cereal. He goes to the aisle and just stands in front of all the boxes. He just stands there, looking at the cereal. The irony of this man trying to pick out something so inconsequential, and at the same time be the same man that holds thousands of lives in his hands on a daily basis, is so poignant.

I don't think anyone can get through "The Pursuit of Happiness" without feeling your heart wrench during the scene where the Will Smith plays make believe with his son and tells him they are going to go "into the cave" where the "dinosaurs" are... in the bathroom of the Metro station, just so they have somewhere to sleep. Then when someone tries to use the bathroom and he holds the door closed as he cries silently, keeping his sleeping son still and safe. At the end, after ALL of the many many things he went through, he FINALLY gets the job.... the PURSUIT of happiness.

Its not that we are ENTITLED to freedom from the negative things around us... its the freedom to make our lives better. To let your true character take you to new heights, to have integrity, and to be a good, honest person. And, to pass this legacy of what our freedom MEANS, on to our kids.

I know I have been thinking about this for a few days now. I am thankful for my freedom. I am recommitted to DOING something worthwhile with it, to making my life MEAN something.

The narrator that is loose in my head

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I am narrating my life in my head. This usually happens to me when I have been reading books a lot. Im sure its because I love to write so much... well that's what Im telling myself anyway... So I will be doing stuff, and subconsciously I will start narrating what is happening, to myself, in my head. You KNOW you have done this before, yes? Come on... please tell me Im not the only one! Lately, instead of blaming a good book that I have devoured, I am attributing it to my latest "Series Obsession." I have found that there is nothing better than becoming completely into a series that is already, lets say, three season in. Netflicks it the freaking coolest thing in the world, and for once I was totally on board with the purchase of the Xbox, for my "on demand" viewing pleasure.

My past series obsessions began with 24. I feel very confident in saying that there are THOUSANDS of people that have lost complete days/weeks from being sucked into the "longest day" of Jack Bauer's life. How much do we love Jack??? "Right now, I just need you to listen to what Im saying" ... and we do, Jack!

Other series obsessions include, but are not limited to: Alias (my younger sister got me into this one and for some reason, I was HOOKED! I loved season one the most. Jennifer Garner will always be a amazing costume double agent to me!! And Bradley Cooper in the early days!!... always easy on the eyes) Entourage (How can you not WANT to be Vince, with that life??), How I Met Your Mother (This could be one of my all-time fav's. The show is nothing without Neil Patrick Harris- LOVE his comedic timing), Big Love (Lets just say, holy hell!), Friday Night Lights (funny that I LOVED this show cuz Im not the biggest football fan, but I loved the small town, and loved the characters) and The Office (Steve Carol. Need I say more?? Jim and Pam in the old days... classic) CSI Miami (Love the mysteries and Horatio... wow, really?? An episode that sticks out to me was when Ryan got shot in the eye with the nail gun! This is also when I decided I wanted to learn how to handle a gun), Prison Break (I didn't get to the last season yet, so don't spoil anything, but are they EVER going to be free??)

Failed series obsessions include: Desperate Housewives (I KNOW! Im sorry. I may try this again someday. My good friend tells me I will LOVE it.), LOST (this one is next up on my list to give another shot. I think it was in season 1 that I had only seen a few episodes and maybe I was annoyed that I wasn't getting any answers about that damn hatch in the ground), Sex in the City (maybe because I was just barely trying to watch it.. ?? I don't know?? Why didn't this hold my attention?? I LOVE girlfriends! I love fashion! I love wine! I love sexy stories. What is my problem??)

Which, brings me to my current series obsession: Dexter. Dexter is about this forensic analyst in Miami, who is also a serial killer. BUT he only kills people that have murdered someone. So he's the guy that kills the ones that get away. Its kind of morbid, but Im totally into it.

Before you begin to think that all I ever do is watch TV (it totally sounds like that huh?) this list is comprised over MANY YEARS. And let's be honest, it would have been completely impossible without T-V0 and netflicks. AND my elliptical. Yes, I TRY to run while I watch- gotta justify that much time spent SOMEHOW right??

Anyway, sooo back to my original point, which is: since I started watching Dexter, I have begun narrating everything, just as Dexter does. Many times its while Im at work, and all my sarcasm flows through my head, creating the dissonance between what I am SAYING and what I WANT to say.

THAT happens to you too, IM SURE.

It is when that starts occurring, I realize I NEED an outlet. The question then becomes, if I start writing again... will I stop giving myself a play-by-play in my head??

(The question lingered, and she was satisfied with her post. As she closed her laptop, a quiet calm enveloped her, and her racing mind subsided.)

have you ever...

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Chardonnay (you will find that real names have been removed from my posts so everyone is nicknamed) is my best friend in Las Vegas and we email during the day. One funny thing she has showed me is this tradition she started with her mom, that we do as well now. We will write in the title of the email... "have you ever" which will be followed by a funny and/or embarrassing or ridiculous story in which we reveal something that we usually wouldn't tell... and then end it by saying... "neither have I" as if we would NEVER do that, or have ANYTHING remotely like that happen to us. We always share funny stories this way.

The one I sent to her yesterday was:

have you ever...


Gotten a flat tire a few days earlier, and then had your husband put said tire on top of the recycling bin and then when he is out of town, and it is the day for recycling, you have to take the very heavy tire off of the bin and then use all of your strength to hoist it back up inside the bin (getting your hands all black), then fight the snowy, windy, icy driveway in 4 inch heels to haul the heavy bin to the curb and drive off to work, already a bit late.... And so you call your husband to tell him how hard it was and how proud he should be of you ...only to find out that the RIM WAS STILL ON THE TIRE, but since it was so heavy, and you couldn't flip it over- you couldn't SEE the other side where it would have been obvious, and now you have to go back and take it out of the recycling bin- SOOO HEAVY and dirty- and by the way he is LAUGHING at you for not realizing the rim was on the tire...

Neither have I.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Today my have you ever is:

Have you ever had your husband get on your laptop and "ghostwrite" a post???

In his defence- everything he said was true :)

My Husband is So Great!!!

Seriously, could he be any more adorable? I am asking a question hoping you will respond (as if we were at a coffee shop), but I am not sure you will speak, so......in an effort to speed things up, I will answer for you. "He is the Best!!!!" I love him with all my heart, and I feel so lucky to have him in my life.

I know....who could love her husband the way I do? (Hmmm...another question knowing that you won't answer) I have never seen anyone care so much.

How do I know I love him you ask? (I actually asked the question in my fictitious coffee person's voice) [please insert quirky voice]

Let me start by saying this - First of all....there are three things to test whether you love you man!!!!

1. Awkward Test - This is a test that you need to pass when you are at lunch with someone and they are talking about their relationships. Everything they say about their husband/wife, you sort of cringe because you don't have that problem. I wish I could commiserate with them, but I JUST CANT! I usually just shup up and listen. I figure that it isn't helping anyone to talk about Brandon. Guys can't measure up and Girls cannot him him. He is mine. - PASS

2. Hotness Test - This test is a little more tricky. Obviously, I am biased, but I actually think that I pass this test too. Sometimes when I am at work, my sweetness (oh...I call him lots of adorable names) walks in without letting anyone know. My heart goes pitter patter and almost does belly flops on the ground. "Hey...watch out!!! I dont want you to step on my heart...please back up ma'am!" Seriously, I am surprised that I don't lose more body parts when I see him. So, as you can see [hands gesturing..as I am pointing to my heart], I melt when I see him. - PASS

3. Sickness Test - Although there was this one incident when my ear was about to fall off and the drums were going to split in 5 - and he didn't go to the hospital with me - and he ended up sleeping, I am here to say that he is amazing. He would do anything for me. He buys female protective period things for me with a pint of ice cream. He would heat up the best TheraFlu you could ever possibly imagine. He would build a fire out of rolled up newspaper and US Weekly Magazines (only after he had read it first) to keep me warm. He would gut the stomach of a dingo in Australia if he knew that it would provide me sustenance in a really tough time. (Although, how would we be in Australia if we were struggling?). Regardless of everything that I mentioned, the fact is........HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME!!!!!! - PASS

As you can see [picture whoever you want across from you], I am really lucky and just happy to be alive. It is so fun to be with him and I cannot wait for the future. Holy Shit.........please pinch me, 'cause this isn't real, IS IT?????

I FELT THAT!!! OUCH!!! It is real! :)

Thanks for coming to listen to me [insert person again]. So, tell me about your husband now?

[Silence ensues]

dizzy little chat inspiration

In an effort to keep my love/addiction to writing alive, while I am temporarily unable to spend much time doing it (aka- fulltime job at Work, family commitments & a small obsession with getting through the P90X workout program... I am 49 days in!)- I am starting a new blog. This blog one is a nameless blog, about whatever I feel like writing about that day. I am really excited to see where it takes me and hope you occasionally like to come and see what's been going on. I'm thinking its going to be like you and I are at a coffee shop just talking, curled up in those comfy chairs. Our discussion of choice- random things that happened that day, funny things, stuff I want to become better at, challenges, and of course the occasional "are you freaking kidding me??" that MUST be documented.

I'm looking forward to our dizzy little chats- as you will see... the name is fitting to my personality. I'm always doing a million things, as I'm sure many of you are, and I love to talk about all of it!

Anyway, that's how this began.... so, I will see ya soon!