nothing going on

Since I wrote last, we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with lots of family.  We also moved to live closer to my stepdaughters.  My knees got better than they were... but I'm definitely still recovering.    The stairs in my new house have become my nemesis.  We survived the STOMACH FLU MASSACRE of 2012 (which of course, hit the whole family right in the middle of the move, causing us to have to live half way moved without furniture for a week until we were well enough to organize the movers).  My husband also closed the purchase of 5 restaurants with his brother, which is really exiting.  So you know... nothing really going on. :)

One really exciting thing for me is that for Christmas, my husband got me a new Mac Book Air!  Im soooo excited to have a new computer to write on.  My other one was getting pretty ancient... 5 years old for a laptop is getting up there!  I'm very excited to do a big edit of my book on this new lightweight laptop that doesn't get to a million degrees when you're running it and have to be plugged in constantly.    Plus I was totally out of space on it and this one has so much more!  I am a wee bit obsessed with pictures of my family.  I'm really excited about the new laptop!

I read "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith, "Unbroken" by Laura Hillabrand and "Proof of Heaven" by Dr. Eben Alexander.  I will be doing reviews soon of all of these books, which were all amazing.

The area I live in now is surrounded by farmland.  Luckily I only have to drive about 20 minutes to get to where lots of things are, but the actual town is very small and quaint.  I do have an unbelievable view of the mountains from my house, so I'm enjoying that.  It's going to be an adjustment for me, but its what's best for my stepdaughters so I know its the right move.

My plan with my book is to hit it hard first thing in January (so... starting tomorrow) and do an overall edit.  My husband is going to read it behind me and give his thoughts and then I would like to hire someone to do an edit while I work on my query letter!  It's an exciting and daunting process.  I'm excited to learn about it though and start on the second book.   I signed up for a writing conference this summer and am also doing a 10 min pitch to an agent, so that's really exciting!

Sorry for the hiatus.  I'm hoping everything will settle down soon.  I really want to be out of boxes very quickly, and then get back to it!

Hope you all enjoy a safe and happy new years eve!!

dizzylittlechatgirl

thankful eve

On this thanksgiving eve, I have a new appreciation for many small things lately because of my double knee surgery.  Things like being able to BEND your knees, kneel down, pick up your kids, dress yourself, drive the car, do normal every day things... you need KNEES for all those things!  I can't believe how many little daily activities I took for granted before.  My husband has totally saved me because I didn't quite understand how much the knee surgery was going to affect me and my ability to do my normal things!  He has totally taken care of EVERYTHING!  He gets up with our 14 month old in the night and has helped on ANYTHING I've needed.  He never complains about anything and is always encouraging me and telling me how much better I'm doing whenever I'm discouraged.  Seriously he is my rock and I appreciate him soooo much!!

Here's a random list of other things I'm thankful for this year:

• my perfect baby
• my family
• health
• rainy days
• sisters
• surprise visits from my brother
• coffee mugs
• laughing til it hurts
• best friends
• texting
• time with my hubby
• fuzzy socks
• creative and fun babysitters
• nail polish
• secret santa planning
• my awesome group of girlfriends
• audio versions of books
• peppermint mocha creamer
• pinterest
• movers
• bags of peas
• physical therapy
• tempurpedic pillows
• ipads
• coconut curry popcorn
• dvred shows
• decorating
• red wine
• my grandpas published book
• indian food
• my writing group
• vegetable gardens
• new beginnings
• late  nights
• inside jokes

I could go on.... mostly I'm really thankful for my family and friends.  I have an amazing husband who makes my life so much better, three stepdaughters who are so amazing and turing into such lovely young ladies... with just enough edge :) and of course my son, who makes me so so happy.  I have a great extended family and couldn't ask for better friends and I have my health (almost... with my knees!!).  So, I think that my life is pretty fabulous.  I'm a lucky lucky girl and am humbled to be able to make a list like this.  

Hope you all have a great thanksgiving!!  Tell those that matter to you how you feel!  Life is short... make the most of it!

thankfully yours,

dizzylitttlechatgirl

I FINISHED MY BOOK!!!!!!!

There really aren't words to describe the amazing happiness I have right NOW!  My first COMPLETE draft on my novel has 96,106 words and it only took me 4 years to write! Ha ha!  Well I did a million different versions and then decided to start my story waaaay earlier, making my original book the second book.  I have learned so much, put so much time into it and it's just such a great feeling to FREAKING FINISH!!!  

I have to say that my characters feel like complete real people to me.  I'm often surprised by things they do and situations they wind up in.  Many times I've just felt like its a movie I'm watching and I'm as surprised as a reader seeing what's happening!

I don't think I could be more happy than I am in this perfect moment.  I will always remember how it felt to write the last sentence.

I FINISHED!!!!  Yaaay!  Now I'm going to celebrate!!!

dizzylittlechatgirl

NaNoWriMo

I did it.  I signed up for NaNoWriMo!  In case you don't know what that is, its the National Novel Writing Month and basically you have to write 50,000 words of a new novel in the month of November to "win."  Check out the website for all the details and to register... only one day left before we begin!

I have always wanted to participate, but haven't ever done it!  Since I'm nearing the END of my current novel, I'm feeling like I should give it a try!  My plan was to finish the end of my book before the end of the month and then give it out to a selected few for their take on it while I give it a break for a month.  Then during that time, I would begin something else.... haven't decided if I want to jump into the second book or if I want to try something totally different out... still chewing on that one.  

But I just had double knee surgery and so my progress has been slowed.  Or rather stopped.  Here it is one day before the end of the month and I should be in the home stretch!  But I still have three chapters left.  So I'm going to give myself a break and just try to finish as soon as I can, given my circumstances.  And in the meantime... I registered to do NaNoWriMo.  

I have two sisters that are doing it too, so that makes it even more fun!  I'm excited to be inspired and doing something at the same time as so many others!  There are lots of helpful tips from other authors and perks of finishing.  There are also local write-ins and things like that to help.  Plus, if you submit the final book, there are agents looking for that next best seller!  Anyway, after reading this post, it got me all inspired, and so I'm doing it!  

So, check it out!  JOIN ME!!  Let's be NaNoWriMo-ers together!

dizzylittlechatgirl

here's how I see it: a review of "Sharp Objects"

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is the first book by Gillian Flynn, which I read since I liked "Gone Girl" so much.  I really love Gillian's writing style.  Her descriptions are amazing!  The storyline of this book was disturbing, which is her intention.  I didn't like it as much as Gone Girl, but I also got through it pretty quickly.  I think I'm captivated because it is so different and since it's a little out there, its like I can't look away.  A good halloween time read, showcasing some pretty crazy characters.  I don't know how she comes up with this stuff!


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dizzylittlechatgirl

here's how I see it: a review of "The Picture of Dorian Gray"

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This book was... interesting at best.  I really liked the premise that Dorian was able to transfer his "aging" to the painting, and go about unmarred by the decisions he makes and unaltered by the consequences.  But, for a good 3/4 of the book, Oscar Wilde seemed to be pontificating on a myriad of subjects that ended up reminding me of the Woodstock bird on the peanuts comic strip.  You know he's talking but it comes across as mumbling words that are meaningless.  I listened to the audioversion of this book and I don't think I would have ever been able to get though it if I just read it.

Not to knock Mr. Wilde, but I think the idea of this book could be adapted and redone to make a new book that is very interesting and much more compelling.  The whole relationship with Sibyl Vane was so rushed and intense it was unbelievable, and then the entire time Dorian was off doing all these terrible things, I didn't feel connected to him or what he was doing at all.  I knew the murder was coming but I wish it wasn't so obvious as the next step.

I had a friend say that this book was meant to be discussed, not read, and I think she was right on.  Of course you have to read it to discuss it, obviously, which is the downside.  The relationship with his friends, Harry and Basil were also so strange to me.  I'm sure some of that had to do with the time period, but again, I was left feeling just.... disconnected.  I knew Dorian did all these unspeakable things, but I didn't FEEL it from him.  I didn't hate him, or feel sorry for him.  You never want to feel apathetic towards the main character.  Maybe its the difference of showing, not telling, which I always hear about as a writer.

The two stars I'm giving it are for the idea of the story.  I think it could have been so much more.  Sorry, Oscar Wilde.


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dizzylittlechatgirl

The Life I Thought I Wanted

You know how when you're little and you imagine you grown up life, you just knew certain things would happen.  I remember a 4th of July with my cousin, looking up at the fireworks, dreaming about when I would be doing that same thing with my husband and we talked about what our husbands would be like, and how we would live on the same street and our kids would play.  In my mind, I was going to get married in my early 20's have four-ish kids basically right away and then proceed to be the best mommy ever.

Ha. 

My life isn't really anything like I pictured, but I'm sooooo glad its not!  Here's some things I never thought I would do:

• Marry someone 9 years older than me- SCORE for me!  Hubby is still amazing after 10 years.
• Have stepkids- Never thought I would ever have to be a stepmom, but I LOVE it!!
• Leave my religion- Its a looooong, heartbreaking story, but the road to truth led me somewhere I never would have expected, but I'm so happy with where I am.  This one, for SURE I never in a gazillion years would have imagined, since I was raised extremely devout.  Like i said, its a long story...
• Spend 7 years trying to get pregnant.  Thought for sure this would be a cinch.  What did I know back then??  But I'm the HAPPIEST mommy in the world, and I cherish every single second with my perfect son.
• Work in the Insurance and Investment Industry for 10 years.  yeah, not sure how this happened, but I learned a lot and now I'm SO THANKFUL EVERY SECOND that I will NEVER EVER EVER have to do it again. :)
• Write a book- never even considered it as a possibility... now I'm almost done with a whole entire book!  
• Live in Utah- never pictured staying here, but since my girlies are here, this is where we are.  But I love being around family and enjoying the seasons.  
• Become much more open minded- I didn't realize it at the time, but I was kind of judgmental.  After all the things I've been through in my life, I've learned that you can never pretend to understand where someone is in their life, what they've been through or that you would do it differently if you were them.   You have no idea what you would do if if you walked their road.  Now, I just try to be nice to everyone, and accept people for who they are at that moment.   Who am I to judge?

It's funny because never in a million years would I want the life I thought I wanted back then.  I wonder if there are things I think will turn out a certain way for my future now, that will veer totally off the course I have mapped in my mind.  I'm sure it will happen.  Who knows what the future holds??

What things haven't gone as you thought in your life?  What would you change if you could go back?

Hope you have a great weekend... I'm planning to!

dizzylittlechatgirl

here's how I see it: a review of "Gone Girl"

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Gone Girl is a devious, crazy, twisted ride, and I couldn't put it down!  Seriously I think I read it in three days.  I loved Gillian's writing-it was so descriptive in this crisp and raw way.  I loved having the two character viewpoints because- for the first half anyway- I could see both perspectives clearly and understand where they were coming from, pulling me back and forth from one side to the other.  I thought Gillian nailed Nick's viewpoint, making him a solid character that felt so real.  Then the second half of the book.... holy crap!  Let me just say I didn't see anything coming and I was riveted by all the twists.  This story is dark and messes with you head, like a car accident you can't look away from.  When I said it was raw, I think that's a perfect way to describe it, raw language, raw descriptions and raw subject matter, so its not for the delicate of heart.  It's been a long time since I've read something I couldn't put down, so if you're looking for a page turner and are ready for a crazy ride, this is it.  I will definitely be picking up her other books.


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dizzylittlechatgirl

four things spinning around in my head...

1)  WORDS WORDS WORDS 80,000 words!  I'm over 80K in my book now, which is very exciting!!  I'm wanting it to be between 95,00-100,000 so basically I just have the END left!  My biggest obstacle right now is TIME!!  My little buddy has been sick a lot this month- I know they SAY that you can't get the flu from the flu shot, but I SWEAR he got it.  And then three other times in a month and a half!!  I am sick of the sickies!  I'm putting HEALTH vibes out into the universe right now!  Anyway, My goal has been to get a full, edited first draft done by the end of the year.  I'm really hoping I can beat it and get done sooner!   I have been working to get to this point for YEARS!  I have edited and changed and omitted and added but NEVER FINISHED!!  I have learned a tremendous amount through this process and hopefully it will show in my book!

2) HUNKERING DOWN- I'm having knee surgery on the 25th.  I've been battling knee pain for over ten years now and I'm ready to be done with it!  I'm young and healthy and active so whhhhyy should I be limited?  My knee caps are tilted, causing bone one bone irritation.  This surgery will correct the groove they move in.   Luckily it's laparoscopic, but I do have to be knocked out for it! :(  I'm doing both knees at once, which is a harder recovery... but only ONE recovery.  I'm thinking if I just hunker down for the winter months, by next spring I should be good to go!!  Wish me luck!!

3) MY ROLE AS A STEPMOMMY  My three girls live about 1/2 away from me and consequently we do a LOT of driving to see them.  It's recently become very apparent that we need to be closer to them.  It's such an important time in their life and they really need the influence of their daddy more often than they are getting it.  One of them for sure would come live with us and the other two are saying they would, but we would have to see how that plays out.  Moving from where I live to where they live is NOT something I want to do!  There is a long list of reasons, but they really just boil down to me being selfish.  And as their stepmom, I have a responsibility to give them the very best living conditions and opportunities that I can.  So.  I think we might be moving.  Before my surgery.  Please refer to item #2).... Sometime before the 25th.  Today is the 9th.  Awesome.

4)  FALL  I can't even tell you how much I love the fall!  We have been doing all sorts of fun things for the season.  Tons of yummy fall meals, pumpkin picking, carving, costume halloween parties, decorating, festivals, scary music and of course scary movies!! I LOVE the fall!!  My little boy LOVES elmo... so here's a picture of his pumpkin I carved for him this year.

What's spinning around in your heads?  What are your favorite FALL traditions?

dizzylittlechatgirl

M.I.A.... but now it's FALL!

(pic source) 

Hi!!  Sorry I disappeared for a bit!  Last month was craaaazy.  We had my sister's wedding (YAY!) which I did everyone in my family's hair for, my twin's birthday, hubby's birthday, my brother's birthday, grandfather's 80th birthday, my writing bootcamp and then early this month my baby turned 1 and of course we did a big party!!  Then he got super sick after his flu shot... and now I'm catching it!  Yikes!

So, any downtime I had, which was FAR and FEW between, I was writing.  I can't even tell you how much I love my writing group, The Riveting Writers! They have been so helpful and I'm really enjoying my book right now!  With the way we've organized it to work, at any given time I'm trying to crank out new portions as well as editing where they are in the book.  I hit 70,000 words this week, so I'm pretty proud of that!  I'm wanting it to be between 95K-100K so I'm getting there... slowly but surely.  I'm hoping the last section will come really fast because I know what I want to happen and everything is unraveling for my characters right now so its really fun to write.  So if I can just somehow manufacture additional hours in the day, I can get it done! haha

Fall is in the air!! The fall is my favorite time of year!  I LOVE the chill in the air, the emerging colors of the trees, fall spices in all the meals I'm making, hot drinks, scarves, boots, hats, decorating with oranges, yellows, browns and golds.  I love all of it!  I'm getting all of my fall decorations out today to sprinkle FALL throughout my house.  I love getting ready and excited for halloween and this year will be especially fun because we will get to Trick or Treat with my little one!! I'm so excited!!!!

The fall is also the season I met my husband and so every fall, I remember those vivid feelings of falling in love.  Corny, but true!  

What do you love about the fall? Do you decorate for the changing seasons?  Are you obsessed with all things fall on pinterest like I am?? :)

I promise not to be MIA for so long... :)  I've been reading three books too so I'll be reviewing those soon too!

dizzylittlechatgirl

here's how I see it: a review of "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was completely surprised by how much I loved this book!  Jonathan Safran Foer was brilliant with the mechanics of this story, walking us through different perspectives and hopping back and forth in time- which I don't usually like, but in this book he pulled it off.  I fell in love with the characters, especially little Oskar.  Usually I am turned off by a narrative through a young child, but Oskar's voice was so pure, so... Oskar, he immediately grabbed a hold of my heart.

Oskar's journey to solve the mystery surrounding his late father was so delightful and heartfelt.  I found myself rooting for him and really enjoying all of the characters he got to meet along the way.  The stories of the individual lives that the author came up with were so honest in their portrayal of humanity which I loved!  Oskar's search is so heartfelt and I felt like I was really inside the mind of a very smart 9 year old.  His brutal honesty was endearing, and his heartbreak, palpable. I'm not one to tear up often in books, but I have to admit it happened on more than one occasion in this book.

The relationship between Oskar's grandparents was so tragic, and I was captivated by it.  I cannot imagine the horror they went through.  I though it was ingenious to have one of the character's point of view be from someone who does not speak- what a huge feat to accomplish so well by an author.

I have to admit I really wanted to know what was in the safe deposit box.... but I'm sure it wasn't revealed because that wasn't the point, and would have distracted from Oskar's end goal.

I listened to the audio version of this book, and I think the narrators did a phenomenal job.  Many times the narration can tip the scale on how much I love or dislike a book, and this recording was great.  I am picking up my own copy of the book because of what I have heard about the actual pages inside.  There aren't many books that I would buy a copy AFTER reading, but this one is a delightful exception.

I have no idea how Jonathan Safran Foer figured out how to write this story, so full of emotion, from such different characters, in different points in time.  Taking on the topic of September 11th and bringing such tragic events close to the surface and at the same time making me love the story, is  impressive.  I definitely want to pick up other books by the author- his writing was so different and full of life.

I love that this book exists because I think it's so important that the events of September 11th be remembered.  This is one of the most original and fantastic books I've read in a long time and recommend it to everyone.

dizzylittlechatgirl

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9/11

I just read the book "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" (a review will follow) and it's got me thinking about the whole horrific day of September 11th.  Especially since the anniversary is coming up again, it's always on my mind this time of year.  What were you doing the day the towers fell?  Here's my story.

Sitting at the desk in my room, I grab the mascara to apply to my completely blonde eye lashes.  Katie Couric is talking in the background on my little television set and I'm hurrying to get ready to go to work.  It's a tuesday, and I have some things to get done at the financial institution where I work, before my boss get in.  I'm still living at my parent's home while I work and put myself through college, which I think is both financially prudent and robbing me of opportunities every college-age-person should have.  Right now I'm thinking about my list of things to do, and that I need to get the radio fixed on my car.  It's been making me crazy because all the way in to work, a good half hour on the freeway, I have nothing to distract me from how much I hate the drive.  I really need to pick up my shirt at the dry-cleaners, can't forget that.  

The news broadcast is suddenly in a frenzy.  They aren't sure what's going on exactly, but it seems like a plane has hit one of the twin towers.  I drop the mascara and turn to face the little television.  I increase the volume, seeing hazy footage, not understanding.  I am riveted to the screen, waiting for more information, verification of what is really happening, someone to say its an accident and miraculously there aren't many casualties.  

I jump up, run down the hallway to my parent's bedroom.  

"Wake up," I say, tapping the end of their bed, finding sleepy feet.  "Something's happened.  A plane hit the world trade center tower."

From his sleep my dad says, "What?"

I repeat myself.

"No, that can't be right," he says, sitting up. 

"Come see for yourself.  It's all over the news," I say, not waiting, as I fly back down the hallway to my room.  I don't know why I went back to the tiny tv in my room.  It's the smallest one in the house.  Maybe I went there because of everywhere in the large home, it's where I feel the safest.  Maybe if I watch from my room, it won't be as awful.  

The news is coming in snippets, pieces of speculation, all too horrible to believe.  

Is this real?  Has this really happened?

I look at the clock.  I'm going to be late if I don't hurry.  Will it matter?  How can anyone work when this is happening?  I throw my hair up, finish minimal makeup, and dress as quickly as I can.  I forgo breakfast, instead remain standing, mouth open, taking in the images I can't believe.

Why didn't I call my boss to tell him I couldn't come in?  I didn't know the infamy the day was going to claim. 

Every line on the freeway dashed by me, making the silence in my car louder.  I couldn't believe my radio was broken.  I speed, which is not so unusual, but I feel like I have a free pass today.  Today, everything is different and nothing really matters.

The elevator doors open and the office is quiet.  The few people that came in to work, mostly staff that didn't have the option of not coming in, congregate around the various tv's.  Everyone looks at everyone else, but no one knows what to say.  

We alternate between channels, trying to find the most accurate portrayal of what is happening, but not wanting to see.  We watch in horror as the images come in.  We watch the horrific news.  We watch as people die.     

Later, I only want to see my family.  I hug everyone.  Tight.  There's not much to say.  All we can find to pronounce are exclamations of disbelief, of sorrow, of grief.  

I can't imagine what so many people are going through, while I sit an watch my television.  I feel lucky to be alive.  I feel guilty that I am safe.  Things I thought were important aren't anymore.  I feel differently looking at the american flag.  A lump sits in my throat.  I cannot swallow it.  It's impossible to comprehend how this can happen.  I'm so far away from it, but I feel so much a part of it.  Which is completely unfair to the people that were there, who's family members aren't coming home.  I can't wrap my head around it.  

And now, all these years later, I still can't wrap my head around it.  I ache for those who lost loved ones.  I still can't look at pictures from the events of the day without tearing up.  I will never forget.  I guess the best way to honor those that died that day is to remember.  Remember, and tell younger generations about what happened that day.  Tell them where you were, how you felt and the impact it made on you forever.  

Tell them so that it won't just be a lesson in their history class.  Tell them you remember.

I remember. 

I will never forget.

dizzylittlechatgirl

here's how I see it: a review of "Mistborn"

Mistborn: The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

My review of this book will be a little mixed... I'm not one who reads fantasy very often, but this book was for our book club this month so that's what prompted me to give it a shot.  So, if I'm putting it up against all books I read, I would probably give it a 3.5, but in the fantasy genre alone, I would have to give it at least a 4 maybe even a 4.5.

I think the author, Brandon Sanderson, is a freaking genius for coming up with this plot.  I mean, it's brilliant, really.  Especially what he does with the alamantic metals and their powers, I am very impressed.  The character development is fabulous and I really could picture everything happening in my head, as well as the layout of the world he created.  Brilliant.

Really my only complaint with the book is that I feel like it's too long, so consequently I found myself alternating between being really engaged and then losing interest.  I feel like I would have enjoyed it more if he cut it down and just kept the best of the best.

So overall I'm going to give it a 4, after taking everything into account.  If you love fantasy, I would definitely recommend this book!


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dizzylittlechatgirl

unsolicited advice to the future generation

This commercial is freaking hilarious and TRUE!  I had to show my stepdaughters :)  In the spirit of passing along wisdom to the next generation, I'd like to offer some unsolicited advice.  So, minimize your facebook, put down your ipads, and try to keep the eye rolling to a minimum...

Here are things I've picked up along the way, and things I wish I would have learned when I was much younger.

• Don't worry about what others think.  Be yourself in all of your original glory- that's what draws people in.  Life it too short to spend it dwelling on negativity from others.  Be yourself, own it, and let everything else roll off your back.  You don't have any room in your life for people that drain you.  If they aren't giving enough back... let them go.

• Get outside- I promise it will heal your soul.  Take a walk, ride a bike, go up in the mountains, squish your toes in the sand at the beach, or just have a picnic at a park.  Get out in nature.  Breathe in the air and allow your problems to slip away.  Things that seem insurmountable will resolve themselves in your subconscious, or at least they won't seem nearly as bad.

• Don't be afraid to be on your own.  As much fun as it is to be around friends and family all the time, its equally important to learn to be comfortable in your own space.  YOU create your own happiness so get comfy with your bad self!

• Don't eat crap.  Be conscious of what you put into your body.  Pound the water, grab those fruits and veggies.  Cut out the sugar and processed foods.  Watch your portions.  Don't eat late at night.  But know that as long as you are doing these things most of the time, it's totally ok to indulge now and then.  Moderation is key.

• End the day by thinking of something that you're thankful for, then either write it down or tell someone about it.  You'll be surprised how this one little act will change your attitude about your entire life.

• Look people in the eye when you're talking.  This seems to be a dying art as texting, emailing and facebooking don't generate any kind of confidence in this area.  Try it- you will be amazed how captivating you will become.

• Be honest.  Don't lie, don't talk about other's behind their backs, don't be catty.  The art of being a lady will go a long way towards making and keeping friends.  

• If you make a mistake, fess up to it.  You will have a much better shot at patching things up, and you will keep respect that will otherwise be lost.  Most importantly on this one- say your sorry, and I mean actually say those words, "I'm sorry."  You'll be amazed the affect it can have.

• Try new things and keep your options open.  Taste that calamari, try out for the team, take the LSAT, do the study abroad, learn the language, pull an all-nighter, take that interview.  You are meant to be great- make it happen.

• Figure out what you love and then DONT LET GO.  Make your work you passion.  Work harder than everyone else around you and cling to what you love.  Don't listen to anyone that ever says you can't do it.  Prove them wrong. 

• Look your best.  You will feel more confident if you just take a few minutes to present your best self.  Put on a little mascara, invest in a bra that fits, put on ear rings when you pull your hair up, wear clothes that flatter your figure, paint your toes.  Own a black dress- you can vamp it up or make it casual, it works in almost every scenario.  A little class never hurt anyone. 

• Listen.  I mean really listen when someone is talking.  Take a genuine interest in people and what they're going through.  You can learn enough to avoid some serious mistakes if you just open your ears.

• Be good to your family.  Spend time with them and make them important in your life.  Forgive and mend relationships- as long as they are not unhealthy.  Ask your grandparents and parents questions before its too late.  Show up for events that are important to other family members.  Say I love you, and say it often.  

• Be active.  You only get one body- make it a healthy one.  Change up your workout routine so you don't get bored.  And ps- there's lots of ways to get a workout in that doesn't involve a gym membership.

• Create traditions.  Involve those you love and find reasons to celebrate.  Celebrate holidays and make your own.  Have a reason to celebrate every month.  Do Taco Tuesdays, go to the lakehouse every summer, stay in your pajamas all day, meet up for happy hour, vacation to a new place the same week every year, take a road trip.  Always have something to look forward to!

• Give back.  Nothing will pull you out of depression faster than doing something for someone else.  It doesn't have to be a big thing, but to someone else it can mean the world.

• Don't judge.  I promise, promise, promise you don't know everything that person is going through, or has been through, or how hard they are fighting just to be who they are.  A little tip- there will be a point in your life when you hope with everything in you, that others will extend you the same courtesy. 

• Do something nice unexpectedly.  Bring flowers.  Surprise someone.  Send chocolate.  Write a love letter.  Bring coffee.  Send a text.  Clean a room.  Give a massage.  Leave a message.  Give a hug.  Bring dinner.  Spend time. 

Well there you have it... little life-lesson gems from a seasoned thirty-something blogger, hoping some of it will ring true.  I think life can be stripped down to the moments we spend with family and friends or in the pursuit of a passion.  All the rest is just filler.  

dizzylittlechatgirl

here's how I see it: a review of "Bringing Up Bebe"

Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book was a fantastic read from american journalist Pamela Druckerman who moves to Paris, has a baby and writes about her observations on the differences between french and american parenting.  I think what was most fascinating about this book was how different the cultures approach it, and how there were things I would never have thought of.  There are certain ways we perceive things based on the society we were raised in and this book gave me a totally different frame of reference.

A few examples of things that are important in the french culture are children learning to wait, or "attend" as they say in french.  Even very young children are taught to be patient, not requiring immediate attention and they learn how to entertain themselves.   French babies sleep through the night much earlier, typically, than american children.  By two or three months most of their babies are "doing their nights."  French children develop a taste for a large variety of foods, and are not nearly as picky or demanding of certain food as american children.  They eat three meals a day, with an almost universal snack-time in the early afternoon, but no snacking otherwise during the day.  Children are taught to say hello and goodbye to the adult of any home that they enter, or at any function, they are to recognize and greet the adults.  This fosters respect between the child and the person being greeted and the children are much less likely to misbehave if they are on a more respected level with the adults.  When french children do something wrong, there are different words to express, essentially, how bad of a misdoing it is.  So when a child throws a block, it would be termed a "betise," or a small act of naughtiness, to differentiate between that level or something much worse, like hitting a friend.

French women also have different attitudes/perceptions of how a woman should behave when having a baby.  French women are much more likely to not gain as much weight during a pregnancy and they get back into shape very quickly.  Much more emphasis is put on a woman "getting her groove back" and returning to her own  best self as soon as possible.  It is very important for french women to jump back into healthy sex lives very quickly and to reclaim the things about them that make them the woman they are.  French women feel it is very important to put their children into what we would refer to as daycare- but the french equivalent of daycare is subsidized by the government and have many very well educated people on staff.  French mothers feel it is important for children to be exposed to other children and learn how to behave in a group setting.  This also gives the mothers a chance to get out and do some things for themselves, which leads to a happier mother, and better parenting.  Children are often encouraged to go on extended trips without their parents at a very early age.

This book was captivating to me because everything was so different than the way I was brought up, and many of the parenting behaviors described were things I never would have thought of.

I recommend this book to every parent, if nothing more than to give you another view of how kids can be raised and how differently things can be looked at just based on culture.  I think many of the insights were brilliant, and I want to incorporate several things I learned into the way I parent.  So, if you're a parent, or will ever be a parent, I think this book is worthy of your time.

dizzylittlechatgirl

View all my reviews

my bucket list

(source... and you can purchase this plaque- click here)

I think it's about time I come up with my bucket list! I know life gets so busy that it would be easy to just do your normal daily stuff and not focus on making things happen.  So, this is a great way to zero in on life goals!

So everything on this list is something that as of today, July 31, 2012, I have NOT done yet.  When I complete something on my list, I'll change the color and put the date of completion after it.

Here we go... in no particular order....

1- Publish a book
2- Have a beach bonfire
3- Perform the National Anthem at a sporting event
4- Visit Dubai & ride a camel
5- Get a beach house
6- See a broadway play in New York City
7- Get scuba certified
8- Have an awesome garden & make my own salsa
9- Have my paintings featured at an art show
10- Learn enough songs on the guitar that I can play for fam/friends to sing along when camping
11- Go wine tasting in Napa
12- Live somewhere in Europe
13- Go to the airport and take the next random flight
14- Sleep on a beach
15- Go grape stomping in Italy
16- Visit Australia
17- Participate in a humanitarian effort in Africa
18- Get a gun license
19- Participate in a flash mob
20- Ride in a hot air ballon
21- Visit Fiji
22- Read 100 Books in a year
23- Go with Hubby to Eiffel Tower
24- Learn to salsa, tango and cha-cha then do it in a public place
25- Release an album
26- Do Bikram Yoga every day for 30 days
27- Sleep in an overnight train
28- Go on an animal safari
29- Visit the Taj Mahal
30- Climb up the Statue of Liberty
31- Go to Oktoberfest in Germany
32- Learn to play chess
33- Make my own wine
34- Learn to knit
35- Open a swiss bank account
36- Spend a week at a 5 star spa
37- Renew wedding vows on 10 year anniversary- on a beach
38- Have a family cabin
39- Have a wine cellar
40- Build a tree house for my kids
41- Have a yearly retreat with the hubby without kids
42- Volunteer at a soup kitchen
43- Establish a foundation
44- Rescue an animal from a shelter
45- Make a documentary film
46- Do a 365 day blog
47- Make a fondant cake
48- Open my own business
49- Become someone's godmother
50- Have a yearly girls weekend retreat
51- Be interviewed for my writing
52- Be on the top 10 New York Times Best Seller list
53- Read the New York Times every day for one year
54- Register and Finish NaNoWriMo
55- Write a memoir
56- Perform in a musical as a lead
57- Be interviewed on the Today Show
58- See something at Carnegie Hall
59- Watch a film at the Sundance Film Festival
60- Go to the Masters with Hubby
61- Try three exotic fruits
62- Summer roadtrip with the fam
63- East Coast road trip
64- West Coast road trip
65- Go to the Macy's thanksgiving day parade
66- Go to the Lighting of the Christmas Tree in Times Square
67- Spend New Year Eve in Times Square
68- Jump into a pool fully clothed
69- Start an awesome family tradition
70- Have my portrait painted
71- Get a tatoo
72- Attend a Murder Mystery Dinner
73- Go to a masquerade ball
74- Meditate every day for 20 minutes for a year
75- Spend a summer without TV
76- Do a detox diet for 30 days
77- Be an extra in a hollywood movie
78- Be complaint free for 30 days
79- Do a gratitude journal every day for a year
80- Be a mentor to someone
81- Perform in a subway
82- Write a letter to three of my closest friends
83- Win a contest
84- Swim with dolphins
85- Read a book on a subject I never thought I would read
86- Go vegan for a month
87- Do something completely crazy and out of character
88- Visit a castle in England
89- Visit Switzerland
90- Become a millionaire
91- Launch my website
92- Ride on an elephant
93- Create a room I love
94- Pull an all-nighter with hubby and watch the sunrise
95- Bury a time-capsule
96- Be a foster parent
97- Swim to and stand behind a giant waterfall
98- Take a gourmet cooking class
99- Rent out a restaurant for a special dinner
100- Celebrate 50 years of marriage

I have to say, making this list was really inspiring!  It also made me think of things I have already accomplished or experienced that would have been on my bucket list if I'd made it years ago.  So here are some of those:

1-Marry soulmate- 2004
2- Go running to the Eiffel Tower- December 2001
3- Visit Hawaii- 2004 Waikiki 2005 Kaui 2007 Honolulu
4- Hike to a 300 foot waterfall through a rainforest- 2005 Kaui
5- Learn to play the piano 1985-1996
6- Have a "Hangover-esque" Las Vegas weekend 2008
7- Go through natural childbirth- 2011
8- Become Vegetarian 2008
9- See the Mona Lisa- December 2001 (It's much smaller than you think)
10- Become a step-mom- 2004
11- Landscape a yard from scratch- 2004
12- Own a convertible 2006- present
13- Sing in front of hundreds of people- 2000
14- Get a cosmetology license- 2004
15- Quit a job I hate- 2009
16- Live near the ocean- 2003
17- Visit all the museums in Washington D.C.- 1986-1992
18- Visit the Louvre- 2001
19- Fly first class- 2001
20- Make sushi- 2009
21- Snowshoe- 2012
22- Complete a hard core diet- 2010
23- Complete P90X- 2010
24- Meet with an energy reader- 2008
25- Learn to paint- 2009
26- Take a pole dancing class- 2010
27- Go to the Sugar Bowl- 2009
28- Party in New Orleans- 2009
29- Speak at a work conference 2010
30- Make a life altering decision 2005
31- Start a blog 2008
32- See Celine Dion in concert- 2007
33- Live in a High Rise condo- 2007
34- Start a business- 2007
35- Stay at Pebble Beach 2006
36- Visit Pikes Place in Seattle- 2011
37- Ride on a Ferry Boat- 2011
38- Walk through the Butchart Gardens- 2011
39- Visit Vancouver- 2011
40- Be part of a monthly girls night out group- 2012
41- Drive the Alpine Loop 2006
42-  Join a writing group 2012
43- Ski after an epic snowstorm- Jackson Hole 2004
44- Get an Associates Degree- 2000
45- Cook entire thanksgiving meal from scratch 2004
46- Communicate with someone who has died- 2008
47- Take a four generation photograph 2012
48- Learn and perform a song in french- 2006
49- Make holiday family traditions- 2004
50- Become more independent-  2012


Do you have a bucket list?  What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime?  What have you already accomplished that you're proud of?  Make a list and let's knock these off together.  This is a great way to better yourself and enrich your life!

dizzylittlechatgirl

here's how I see it: a review of "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Sometimes you get suckered into reading something because of all the hype.  That's my meager excuse for reading this book... no plot, weak heroine, and seriously, Mr. Grey, I want to beat the crap out of you, except for the fact that you would like it.  The writing is... honestly, terrible.  Sorry E.L. James, but that's how I see it.

I just have to surmise that it got as much attention as it did because it suddenly became mainstream and socially acceptable to read erotic romance and so I think it piqued many people's interest because they'd never read something like that before.

And who doesn't want to feel that I-have-to-have-you-right-this-second feeling?  So, yeah, I get the allure.  But the whole... ahem.. control thing... yes, that's what we'll call it for this review, was awful.  No red room of pain for this chick.

Anastasia, you gotta speak your mind girl, and not only through email.

Christian, to quote from the only good thin Ana ever said, "you need to sort your shit out, Grey."

And seriously, if I have to hear "Laters baby" one more time... kill me now.

dizzylittlechatgirl

View all my reviews

here's how I see it: a review of "The Emotion Thesaurus"

The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression by Angela Ackerman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I cannot say enough about how much I love this book!!  I saw some people suggest it online and after finding out what it was- I ordered it right away.  It is a FANTASTIC writing resource!

When writing, sometimes its hard to come up with new ways of describing feelings or situations so Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi came up with this amazing book.  You identify the "root emotion" that you are trying to describe, and then they have a list of the following things for each root emotion: physical signals, internal sensations, mental responses, cues of acute or long-term feeling of the emotion, what the emotion could escalate to, and cues of what the character would be like if they suppressed the emotion.  It's BRILLIANT!!

Angela Ackerman adn Becca Puglisi have a blog, The Bookshelf Muse, that describes everything if you want to check it out.

I recommend this to EVERYONE thats writing ANYTHING.  Love it!

dizzylittlechatgirl

View all my reviews

twi-light-a-match-and-watch-it-burn

(source)

Love it or hate it, Twilight has created a media frenzy for the last several years.  At some point you just have to succumb and read it, don't you?  What I love about it most is this:  Stephanie Meyer was virtually unknown and then knocks it out of the park on her debut novel.  That's basically every writer's dream.

I jumped on the vampire bandwagon in the beginning, mostly because it was completely inspiring to see a writer get that kind of recognition.  I'll forego my personal opinion about the book, writing and plot, suffice to say that I read all the books... except for the last 50 pages of the Breaking Dawn.  I know, I know.  I just had lost all interest by then.  I put it down one day... and just never picked it back up.  Sorry Stephanie.

Anyway, I've been thinking lately about how varied public opinion of EVERYTHING is.  Take the new Batman movie- The Dark Knight Rises.  Personally, I loved it.  I thought the story, filming and characters were fantastic.  I wasn't sure Christopher Nolan could top the second one, but I was pleasantly surprised that it at least rivaled, or beat, the second Batman movie.  That being said, I've heard opinions that run the gamut.  On facebook, one of my friends commented about liking the second one much better, spurring a heated debate with a zillion comments.  Some of the comments were so ruthless, it got me thinking how no matter what you do, there will always be someone chirping from the cheap seats, pointing out every flaw or what they could have done better.  

This is a little nerve-wracking as an aspiring writer, and something I'll definitely need to get over.  The saying "haters gonna hate" looms in my mind, and strangely gives some comfort.  It's impossible to please everyone, so if you know going in that you can't, it takes the pressure off.

So... that brings me back around to our Edward-Bella-Jacob drama.  I was recently shown this website, which I thought I wouldn't like at all, because it's basically just showcasing everything incorrect or ridiculous in all of the Twilight books.  As someone who is taking that leap, and leaving it all out on the table for the public as I continue writing my own book, I tend to steer away from blogs like that.  

But.  It's pretty freaking funny.  And worthy of a few minutes of your time, for a laugh.   

Without further ado... I give you... Reasoning With Vampires.  Go ahead.  I'll wait for you....

And of course there's the recent real life drama with Kristen Stewart cheating on poor Rob, who apparently was going to propose.  So much for Team Edward- let's create Team Dump Kristen.  That's totally off topic, but Us Weekly has a way of bombarding erroneous tidbits of information unsuspecting people waiting in lines at grocery stores.  For a hilarious account of a similar grocery shopping experience, go here.     

Being in the public eye can be rough, but I guess that's the price you have to be willing to pay if you want to make it.  And I want to make it.  So, I guess I've got some thick skin to grow.  

Do you express your opinion in group settings?  Do you feel like you could be scrutinized in the public eye?  Should Rob leave Kristen (ohhh the drama)?  Is there something you desperately want to accomplish but are leery that you would be exposed in some way?  Thoughts on Twilight-mania?  Batman DNR?  If you haven't seen it.. Go!

Until next time... 

(I promise I'll really try to post on Wednesday like I said I would and have yet to do)

dizzylittlechatgirl   

finding the balance

(pic source)

Stress....

the equalizing factor among the classes.  No matter who you are or what you've accomplished, it seems to leak into your life in some way, often unexpected.  I am the first to admit, I don't cope well when I'm stressed.  I seem to lose track of simple things, like where I put the keys I was just holding, or that I needed to make a turn back there.  I tend to make it worse for myself, just because I've lost my focus and then I end up getting more frustrated.  I know that I feel this way when I'm late, unprepared, or I was expecting something and it doesn't go the way I thought it would.  Those are personal stressors for me.  Stress is an awful feeling, coming in third on my list of I-don't-ever-want-to-feel-this-way-meter.  What are the first two, you ask? Grief is number one and guilt is a close second.  But I'll go into that another time.

Anyway, I'm on a quest to get rid of the stress in my life, and make myself a happier person.  I want to find some balance, especially after having a baby, so many things in my life have changed.  I love love love being a mommy- it just means I've had to adjust how I spend my time.  I'm sure many new moms go through this, trying to balance juggling their new responsibilities, but not lose themselves completely.

Recently I read a book called"Bringing up Bebe," by Pamela Druckerman, that was very interesting.  Pamela Druckerman is an American journalist who moved to Paris right as she has a new baby.  She chronicles her new-mommyhood and the differences in American parenting versus French parenting.  She watches these Parisian mothers get their babies to sleep through the night, which they term "babies doing their nights" at a very early age- 2 or 3 months.  French children are very patient, they eat a wide variety of foods, and are very well behaved.  They say hello and goodbye when visiting someone's home and are very polite.  The French women are seem to bounce back very quickly from having babies, and get back to the things that made them THEM- back to work and hobbies, fulfilling sex lives and slim figures very quickly.

It was a fascinating read, that I recommend to all mothers.  I didn't necessarily agree with everything, but it was so interesting to hear things from such a different perspective, and to question things I never would have even thought to wonder about, just because of being raised in the society that I was raised in. 

It seemed overall that the French women appear less stressed and able not to give in on things that cause continual problems.  They seem to have found a balance of some sort.  This may or may not be the right balance for me, or you, but it was a balance none the less.

I found this creative visual tool called the "wheel of life," which you can read about in more detail and try for yourself here.   It's basically a way for you to assess and monitor the different areas in your life so you can see where you are placing most of your time and it might allow you to see why you are feeling stressed out.  

You divide up you life into the areas you feel like you need to find balance.  Then you asses them on a scale of 1-6, 1 being low and unhappy to 6 being high and fulfilled.  The diagram will plot your answers accordingly and you will visually be able to see on a wheel where you are lacking.  You can also choose different topics than the ones listed to better suit your needs.  

Again, you can try it for yourself on their website.

I did it and the results were kind of surprising.  I wasn't very low or high in most areas, a sign that I am spreading myself too thin across the board, and need to reassess what's important to me and make some new efforts.  I think when I do this, the unexpected stress factor will pop up less often.

This is a quote from the former CEO of Coca-cola, littleladyhomemaker shared with me the other day:

I love this advice because it is totally true and powerful.  I will be keeping this in mind, as I continue to search for, and achieve, balance in my life.

What are your personal stressors?  What do you do to combat them?  If you are a mom, what things do you do to keep balance between your responsibilities and your YOU time?  What areas of your life do you feel are the most important to maintain, regardless of outside stress?  

See ya next Wednesday, when I will be balanced and not STRESSED! :)

dizzylittlechatgirl

overhaul

Time for a change!  I'm ready for an overhaul on this blog, and ready to post again!  I know... sorry I've neglected it for so long.  I am loving being a mommy and that has taken up most of my time. But I have also not been posting... because I've been writing.  :)

I joined a writing group and we meet twice a month.  I am loving it!  There are four of us and we are all at similar places in the writing process.  Two of them have already finished the first rough draft!  They are so inspiring and gave me motivation to kick it into gear!  The two that have finished, both just launched websites, so what better way to re-enter the blogging world than to promote my writing buddies?

Here are the links to their blogs:

http://caitlinjacobs.wordpress.com

http://www.itsinthemailbox.blogspot.com

I'm making new commitments with my writing and I've been working on my book every day!  I want to have a solid draft ready for query by the end of the year.  My goal is to finish a FULL first draft of the book by the end of August.   I have already rewritten the first half of the book about 8 million times.  I just need to FREAKING FINISH.  And so I will.

I will be posting here once a week, on Wednesdays, about a variety of things, but the topic of where I am in my writing will no longer be the main focus.  This is going to be another creative outlet for me to do what I love- WRITE!  I will definitely update my progress, but it won't always be about writing.

A side note on how much I freaking adore my baby... He is the most amazing little guy ever.  He's 10 months old now and has my heart wrapped around his little finger.  I seriously can't get enough of him.

I'm excited to tell you more about things I've been creating and the space I'm trying to make for myself.

Until next week....

dizzylittlechatgirl

I'm alive

So, I'm alive.  I know I completely neglected this blog, along with other things in my life while I was very sick and pregnant and then for the first few months of my baby's life.  I mean... look at his face! I'm completely in love and intoxicated by him!

I'm trying to find a balance again and that brings me to today!  I joined a writing critique group and we met for the 2nd time yesterday.  I think its going to be really good for me because it will give me some deadlines and force me to find time to write.  Hopefully. :)

We shared the first 15 pages of our WIPs and then talked about them.  It was the first time I had read any of it to someone other than a family member, and they really seemed to like it so that was good.  I got across the emotions and suspense I was going for in the beginning so I feel like that was successful.

I have worked over that first part extensively so I was glad that it seemed well received.  This month I would like to focus on 3 things:

1)  My second chapter I have written in two different ways and I need to sort through how I want to do it.

2)  I have a little over 50K words.  I am aiming for 100K for the finished product.  Once issue I'm having is that I had decided to make it into three books, but I feel as though I am 75% though my storyline for the first book at 50K.  So Im debating if I should figure out a way to stretch the first book out to the 100K words or if I should try to condense everything into one super solid book?

3)  I need to move forward even though Im mulling the prior things over and get a new chapter written.

Those are my three goals this month.  My writing group meets again Feb 15th and we have to select a 15 pages to bring for critique.  I'm excited to be getting back into it again.  I really love to write and I really want to get this book finished!  I've been working on it for so long, I just want to have the whole thing done.  I need to finish for myself- its something I have committed to do and I'm going to do it.  Even if its a little harder juggling with a baby.  Who I am am head over heels in love with. :)