here's how I see it: a review of "Bringing Up Bebe"

Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book was a fantastic read from american journalist Pamela Druckerman who moves to Paris, has a baby and writes about her observations on the differences between french and american parenting.  I think what was most fascinating about this book was how different the cultures approach it, and how there were things I would never have thought of.  There are certain ways we perceive things based on the society we were raised in and this book gave me a totally different frame of reference.

A few examples of things that are important in the french culture are children learning to wait, or "attend" as they say in french.  Even very young children are taught to be patient, not requiring immediate attention and they learn how to entertain themselves.   French babies sleep through the night much earlier, typically, than american children.  By two or three months most of their babies are "doing their nights."  French children develop a taste for a large variety of foods, and are not nearly as picky or demanding of certain food as american children.  They eat three meals a day, with an almost universal snack-time in the early afternoon, but no snacking otherwise during the day.  Children are taught to say hello and goodbye to the adult of any home that they enter, or at any function, they are to recognize and greet the adults.  This fosters respect between the child and the person being greeted and the children are much less likely to misbehave if they are on a more respected level with the adults.  When french children do something wrong, there are different words to express, essentially, how bad of a misdoing it is.  So when a child throws a block, it would be termed a "betise," or a small act of naughtiness, to differentiate between that level or something much worse, like hitting a friend.

French women also have different attitudes/perceptions of how a woman should behave when having a baby.  French women are much more likely to not gain as much weight during a pregnancy and they get back into shape very quickly.  Much more emphasis is put on a woman "getting her groove back" and returning to her own  best self as soon as possible.  It is very important for french women to jump back into healthy sex lives very quickly and to reclaim the things about them that make them the woman they are.  French women feel it is very important to put their children into what we would refer to as daycare- but the french equivalent of daycare is subsidized by the government and have many very well educated people on staff.  French mothers feel it is important for children to be exposed to other children and learn how to behave in a group setting.  This also gives the mothers a chance to get out and do some things for themselves, which leads to a happier mother, and better parenting.  Children are often encouraged to go on extended trips without their parents at a very early age.

This book was captivating to me because everything was so different than the way I was brought up, and many of the parenting behaviors described were things I never would have thought of.

I recommend this book to every parent, if nothing more than to give you another view of how kids can be raised and how differently things can be looked at just based on culture.  I think many of the insights were brilliant, and I want to incorporate several things I learned into the way I parent.  So, if you're a parent, or will ever be a parent, I think this book is worthy of your time.

dizzylittlechatgirl

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