Love the Way You Lie- Eminem feat. Rihanna (HelenaMaria Cover)

I just found these twin sisters and they have amazing voices!! I am loving hearing all of their songs.

You can check them out on youtube.

mock-up book jacket summaries

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Today I wrote mock-up summaries for the book jackets for books one and two. I think there will ultimately be three. I have the beginning of book one, beginning and middle of book two started. There will be a lot of reworking since the plot has kind of evolved, but at least I have a direction.

It was really helpful for me to do the book jacket summaries because it helped me get my head around the big picture story. The storyline and premises are pretty complex, so its always been kind of hard for me to "sum it up." So this was a really good exercise for me.

I read it to one of my sisters and she was really excited, which made me even more excited. She said she knew I was a good writer, but that THIS was REALLY good. She couldn't wait to hear more. I know she's totally biased and of course she would like it, but it was nice to have some positive feedback. I haven't shared very much this time around, which has made me more comfortable, because I don't have to have any sort of judgements before its "perfected" but it also has taken some of the fun out of it. I loved hearing that someone liked my story. It made it that much more fun to pick up where I left off and push through when I didn't know where to take it.

Things are coming together more, the more I work on it. I have some exciting and very moving scenes coming up which Im really excited to work on. First I have to finish the "re-work" of the chapters I already have, but Im not too far off of that. Im hoping by next Wednesday to be done with that part and moving on.

I am really loving writing and being creative. It is so much fun to work from home and create as I go. I love it when I get in a groove and I feel like I'm just watching a movie, not the one actually making it up.

If you are writing and ever get stuck, try to back and out do a big picture exercise. The mock-up book jacket summaries really helped me get my head around things. There is a huge thrill that comes with thinking about when it will be done, when the story will be all out of my head and down on the paper. Writing the summaries made it seem closer.

Gotta go write some more!!

a barney-ism

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August is coming to a close. Kids are back and school and Labor Day is just around the corner. September brings the crisper air, beautiful fall colors... and its back to our regularly scheduled programs to be viewed whenever we want (thank you DVR). One of my favorites is

How I met Your Mother, which the picture above comes from. There are all sorts of "Barney-isms," in fact, there is a whole book that it pretty funny called "The Bro Code" that is chock full of them. Anyway, the one above I actually think is pretty good in a strange twist. I remember when he said that in the episode and I swear I found myself thinking of it at moments when I was sad, and since it was so silly and trivial the way Barney said it... it just seemed so easy to do. Just BE AWESOME. Just stop feeling sad or frustrated or angry or whatever and just BE AWESOME. And whatever awesome is to you- just be that.

There are so many self help book about becoming a better person or attaining the things you desire the most or having a good attitude or the "secret." But this is so simple, I swear it works. It just a paradigm shift in your mind that immediately makes you feel better.

Try it. Because Barney is nothing if not honest. True story.

...somewhere in the middle...

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When you are in the middle of a manuscript, this road sign is exactly how you feel. Everyone says the middle is the toughest. I have had some good writing days lately and am glad to be making some progress. I am GOING to keep plugging away. I am GOING to finish.

Its been almost three years since I first had the idea for this book. It has morphed and changed - hopefully in good ways- a lot since then. I had to take a break from it for almost two years while I was working full time at an exhausting job. I am still thankful every. single. day. that I am able to do what I love full-time.

I have to thank my husband for always believing in me... even when I doubt myself. He had been my rock and has cheered me on every step of the way. He has read and edited for me, and story-boarded with me. He has given me constructive criticism (yes... it was kind of hard for me to take... but it DID end up helping me see things I hadn't seen before). People can do amazing things if they have someone that believes in them. Thanks baby.

Most people think its really nice that I am trying to write a book and go after my dreams... but I don't really think they are taking me seriously. And the one and only way to prove them wrong is just to FINISH the book. For example, when I meet someone and they ask me what I do, I can't say "I'm and author" yet, or really even "I'm a writer" because I don't have anything published yet. YET. So I have to say, "Im writing a book."

And lately it's kind of sucked because of Inception, which I LOVED. Although it is NOT a similar story-line, my story also deals with dreams and the subconscious. So of course people think I got my idea from that movie, even though I started it years ago. Which shouldn't surprise me or annoy me, but it makes me feel like I'm just another person copying something... which I'm not. And, of course... the only way I can prove that is to FINISH.

So, even though I am in the middle, which is the hardest part I think, I just need to keep going. I need to remain confident that I have a great idea, and that it is going to get done.

It has really helped me to look at other writers websites and blogs. They always have lots of good tips and talk about things I am going through, and keep me motivated. I have a list of these blogs and websites on the lower right-hand side of my blog, in case anyone else would like to look.

So. I am determined to get through the middle. To finish what I started. To prove that what I am doing is legit, and brilliant.

Take that nay-sayers.

I am a stepmother

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stepmothers are evil. all the movies say so.

stepmothers never have your best interest in mind, and they don't really love you.

they love your dad. they battle you for his attention. they have a running commentary of snarky comments that they occasionally filter, but not very much.

they cant wait until its time to bring you back to your mother. they can't believe they signed up to deal with you all the time.

only.... it's not true.

at least not for me.

I am a stepmother.

One who actually loves them, who is trying to help mold them into classy, intelligent, kind, strong, beautiful women.

When they were little, I read them books, I sang them songs at night. I tucked them into bed and laid down with them to scare away the boogey man. I tried to remain calm when arms were broken or fingers were burned. I've cleaned up throw up and had them fall asleep on my lap next to the toilet.

I've been to all the soccer or basketball games, recitals, ceremonies and performances. I cheered them on and took a million pictures, videotaped, scrapbooked and blogged. I've met their teachers, volunteered at their schools, made countless lunches and helped them plough through homework, and occasionally scrambled late into the night to finish a forgotten project.

Now as they are getting older, I giggle with them when they tell me stories that "you can't tell dad, because he's a not a girl" and I listen to their excitement over their discovery that boys are actually kind of cute. I offer up the best advice I can when friends are being fair-weathered, or someone feels left out. I hug them when things go wrong, or when they are sad. I make them popcorn for our movie nights and plan fun things like GNI (girls-night-in) when their daddy is out of town. We sing at the top of our lungs into spatulas (aka our microphones) and dance our hearts out to Justin Bieber. I paint their toes and share clothes with them. I braid or straighten or pull back their hair. I make them yummy meals and laugh when they say... "next time... can we not have it the healthy way?" I try to think of fun things to take them and their friends to do together and I don't get mad when I wake up at 6am to realize that their sleepover had turned into an all-nighter.

I think about each of them, individually, all the time. I worry about their tender hearts getting broken, by people at school or boy they like. I encourage them to get good grades and we talk about the colleges they want to go to. I adore their father- in front of them, and talk about him when he is away. I want them to have a great example of a healthy happy marriage.

I love them- not because that's what I'm supposed to say, but because I really do.

The part of being a step mother that they never talk about is that even with all the things you may do, it doesn't always matter. It doesn't always count or get recognized. I still get my feeling hurt by those little girls sometimes. I don't get to be at everything, and sometimes they forget to tell us about events we could have gone to. I don't get to be a part of major decisions, and if their mom doesn't want them to stay with me when their dads away, then they can't. What their mom thinks will always trump what I think, and sometimes its hard to hold my tongue when their mom gives her opinions of me and they repeat it.

But even through all the stuff that is completely unfair and the viewpoints that are skewed, and the stereotypes of stepmoms in all of their infinite evil, it will never change the fact that I have three great kids that I love and adore. I am lucky to be able to be a part of their lives, and I know they love me too.

Hopefully the other stepmoms that are out there will keep taking about how they love what they do, and wouldn't change anything. Hopefully someday when I say Im a stepmom it won't have such a negative connotation.

But for now..

I am a stepmother. And proud of it.

vantage point

Did you ever see that movie Vantage Point? The one where all of these people in a crowd witnessed the same assassination, but everyone interviewed had totally different perspectives? To the point that it almost seemed like they weren't even in the same place?

I think my family is the live version of that. I come from a large family, and while we are close, our relationships have become very interesting in the last few years. There have been several... fractures, we'll call them. The main fractures stemmed from a few major topics: religion, life choices, drugs, and then my parents also got divorced, and my dad remarried. Soooo to put it mildly, we've had a lot going on.

Everyone has a different perspective on each incident, and sometimes we feed off of each other. So if someone is really upset about something, it can spread like wildfire through the rest of us. Or, sometimes, there will be differences of opinion and thats when it gets kind of messy.

At the beginning of the summer we had what I will refer to as "The Incident." Something happened with my youngest brother, who was still living at home with my mom. My mom ended up calling the police and my brother was issued a citation.

ENTER: VANTAGE POINT

Everyone has a different take on WHAT exactly happened that day, and the motivations behind it and WHY things happened the way they did. Subsequently there ramifications... which resulted in my brother moving in with my dad, and now he won't talk to my mom.

So the weird thing is, I can hear my dad's side of the story, and completely agree with his logic. But then I hear what my mom was thinking, and I totally get where she was coming from. Unfortunately, its my brother that is caught in the middle, and he has his own perspective on it, which is motivating his current actions.

It is AMAZING to me how different they each remember The Incident. I mean there are seriously completely different stories!

I feel bad that the vantage points of the issue are so different. Because it ends up dividing further and causing deeper wounds to all involved. I don't for one second think any of them is anything but completely convinced how they remember it is the absolute truth. No one is fabricating. They just remember it differently.

Its a paradox. Without a resolution.

FOLLOW-UP on yesterday's INTENTION: 88% success rate. I did work out, clean my house, & work on my manuscript. I did not finish the chapter, but at least I put some time in. I decided that my next painting will be of this rowboat in the water.

TODAY's INTENTION: Today Im doing upper body for my workout. My knee is killing from yesterday (I did Chalene Johnson's Turbo Jam II- I love her!!) I have two clients coming for hair appointments and then Hubby gets home. YAY!! Tonight is my girls "meet the teacher" at their school. So I don't think I will get a lot of writing done today. :(

I am sooo excited to see Hubby. He hasnt been home in a while and I miss him so much!

Hope everyone has a great day filled with INTENTION and PURPOSE.

graduation

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A note for my sister:

Dear SISTER,

Tomorrow you graduate from college. This is a mAjOr accomplishment and I want you to know that I am really proud of you! I know how hard you have worked and the hours and hours of study time and preparation you have put in to making it to the end. I admire your dedication and fortitude. I hope you always remember the passion you felt for learning and bettering yourself. This is a huge milestone in your life and I am proud to be your sister.

I love you always!

Your Favorite

Intention from Friday: Pass/Fail..... yeah. FAIL. :( How sad, but I have to be honest. I did end up running the kids around and all sorts of things, but I did not finish the chapter. In fact I haven't finished it yet! BUT. TODAY, I have the house to myself. On my TO DO list today we have:

workout

clean

finish chapter

pic new subject matter to paint

I can TOTALLY get all of that done today. Only four things... sounds easy right?? rrriiiiggghhht. Only there are about fifty million subdivisions of "clean" and "finish chapter." BUT I vow that I will NOT do anything until I have those four things accomplished. Take that INTENTION.

I did my best....I did my best... I did my best...

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Before I launch into what Im going to write about today, I want to declare my intention for the day... this is a new thing I'm starting, which was inspired by my sister (love ya sis).

INTENTION: I will finish at least one chapter of rewrite today. The reworking process is my LEAST favorite part of writing. But, I NEED to do it in order to make it better. I've kind of been stumbling on this part lately, which is making it not as fun to work on. I just need to dig in and get it done so that I can get back to the part I really like... creating new material.

Ok, so now that my Intention is out there... I will report back tomorrow. Ok, now, back to your regularly scheduled program:

When we lived in Las Vegas years ago, my brother got me the Vicious Circle DVD by Dane Cook. I had never heard of him and didn't watch it right away. However, when I finally did, I was crying laughing with how freaking funny this guy was. His impressions were right on and his delivery was fabulous. Every once in a while, something will happen that will make me think back to some bit he did and I will laugh in spite of whatever situation I find myself in.

So lately, things have been... I'd say almost unmanageably stressful for my husband with his work. Even though I'm not directly involved, I have a pretty good understanding of the complexities of the situation. There have been some extremely high intensity moments in the last few months, where most people would have buckled. I know I would have.

Hubby has this amazing way of compartmentalizing and handling stressful situation. I do not possess this gift. I get stressed easily, which I am working on changing, and I have gotten better.

Aaaannnnyyyywwwaaay. So there have been many times over the last few weeks where if I was in his situation, I would have been THIS BIT:

Oh Dane... how I love you. Thanks for the laugh... and the truthfulness.

I did my best... I did my best!

UPDATE: soooo apparently, the youtube video I found with the clip is copyrighted?? Yes, that would make sense. I just thought it was fine if I found it on youtube, ya know? Sorry copyright law people. I didn't mean to infringe. I just wanted the peeps to be able to witness something hilarious and totally relevant to moments in life. Anyway, hopefully you will be able to find it some other way. It's pretty freaking funny.

my love affair with rainy days

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the smell of a rainstorm. there's nothing better.

Today we got a reprieve from the hot hot hot weather, when the angry sky opened itself up and let loose. For some reason, stormy & grey weather= best writing weather for me. Not really sure why that is, but whenever it is like this outside, I get really excited to be at my computer all day long. I get in my most comfy clothes, make a hot cup of coffee and hunker down on my chaise lounge, with Max snuggled beside me.

I've been working through my manuscript again, with a fresh perspective because I have been doing summer-kid-travel-stuff, which has been wonderful. I truly have enjoyed myself this summer, and that's the first time in YEARS I have been able to say that. I am happy as a clam. Loving making my own schedule and doing things I care about with my family and friends.

Im excited to move things forward again on my book. Maybe sometime soon I'll put some on here so you can have an excerpt. maybe.

Now that its August, today I got the first glimpse of the summer winding down a bit. Im sure we will still have hot weather for a while, but by the end of august I always start feeling that Fall is right around the corner, and FALL is my FAVORITE time of year!! Im ready for the scarfs, gorgeous trees and colors, crispness in the air, football games, hot drinks and holidays. I love how the evenings here get cool and I can bundle up under warm blankets on the back porch and still be outside. I just love the feel of fall. Its the best!

I took this picture last fall up the canyon... see why Im excited?

August always goes really fast getting things ready for the kids to go back to school, and both the Twins and Hubby have birthdays this month- they are only a day apart!

Things have been crazy lately with Hubby's job, and we purchased some additional assets from another company and are working to get everything closed by mid-September. He had been working NONSTOP and I have just been trying to hold everything else together so that he doesn't have so much pressure on him. Im really excited that things are working out for him because this transaction is going to be a really big deal. He has also had to travel A LOT, which I am not a fan of, but occasionally I get to go with him and that's always fun.

Found another great blog I will be adding to my sidereel. I love the way she writes!!

http://www.mamatulip.com

Confession: My most recent obsession has been with LOST. I always knew I should watch it, but I had too many other shows T-Voed and let's be honest... you can only watch so much TV. So I saved it for this summer and I've been completely entangled in its web of confusion. I have been flying through the episodes at night- its my guilty pleasure. I thought there were 7 seasons and I had up to Season 5 on Netflix (which if you don't have Netflix... seriously best things since sliced bread. Don't ask questions, just subscribe.) But much to my dismay, my sister informed me late last night that there are only 6 seasons.... and that the Sixth Season isn't even out yet!!

Quickly I realized that if that was true... I only had three episodes left until I would have to wait for the final season! Is it bad that I had a minor panic attack that I will have to take a break from the Oceanic 6?? I was captivated by the clever story-line and the development of the characters. I'm chalking it up to good research for writing. That works, right???

It is crazy outside right now.... thunder... lightning... pouring rain... the smell...

...and so Im ready to pick up again with my long lost love affair with stormy weather.

Summer and I are officially on hiatus.