The weather is doing funny things today. This morning was sunny, bright and warm, and now there is a storm rolling in. The temp dropped and Im bundling up. I went from a tank top this morning to finding my fuzzy socks and a sweatshirt. I think its easier for me to write and read when its cold outside. Something about cuddling up by the fire in comfy clothes and just getting lost in what you're doing.
This morning my hubby and I were talking about the "butterfly effect" (not the Aston Kutcher movie, which for some reason I never saw), which basically is meaning that everything in the universe is intricately connected-how every decision you make could completely alter your path, who you meet, and opportunities that come to you or that you miss out on. It's basically the "what if" game.
The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornadoor delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different. While the butterfly does not "cause" the tornado in the sense of providing the energy for the tornado, it does "cause" it in the sense that the flap of its wings is an essential part of the initial conditions resulting in a tornado, and without that flap that particular tornado would not have existed.
Looking back on my life, I can pinpont a few things that I think have significantly altered my life, and led me to be who I am today.
Some of the pinpoints I would look to are:
- My very strong religious upbringing, which I am no longer affiliated with (another story entirely)
- My family- I come from a large family and we are all really close- I think a lot of who I am was built around the ideals taught to me by my parents and siblilngs
- An X who treated me very badly (something I choose to not think about, having hopefully learned enough lessons)
- Working in the financial industry (something I would not have chosen, but ended up working in for 10+ years)... which is also how I met my husband
- Marrying my husband- I think I have changed quite a bit since I met him 7 1/2 years ago, hopefully for the better...I know he helped me to get my confidence back after the X, then furthered my boundaries helping me to questions things to reach my own conclusions.
Then there are those things that could have happened, that you may never know about. Like what if I wouldn't have worked in the financial industry and not met my husband? Or if my family hadn't moved my junior year, or if I wasn't a member of that church all growing up- how would things be different for me now? What if I wouldn't have gotten out of that detrimental relationship? What if I had ended up at a different college? What if I wouldn't have had the time available, or the thought process to think- I should write a book!
Even the the house you choose to live in, or the people you interact with at your place of employment, or school. I met my best friend in vegas when I lived across the street from her for 6 months. What if I would have just lived in a different house? Would I never had met her?
When I was in high school, I remember my dad, who I have always been very close to, was supposed to go out of town to Korea on a business trip. He traveled there a lot and so it wasn't out of the ordinary. He was feeling like the company they were trying to sign a deal with was not quite ready, so he decided not to go on that particular trip.
Tragically, the man who DID go on that trip, was mugged and stabbed to death in their 5 star hotel. I cannot even tell you how that HAUNTED me forever, just thinking about what could have happened to my dad, had he just made a different decision- a decision that at the time, didn't seem to have very much significance.
I also wonder, if you could somehow SEE all of the tangents that your life could take, and could choose, how you would even decide! Because if you did one thing, it my not have led you down a path where you would have learned something significant, or met someone special to you.
This is definitely a concept that could drive you crazy!! I remember reading a series when I was younger, where there would be a question posed and two alternate paths. If you chose A, it would take you to page XYZ whereas if you chose B you went to a different page.
I think it would be interesting to do a spinoff of that concept and write a book that consisted of several different outcomes, depending on the choices made.
For the book I am CURRENTLY working on- as an update, I made a lot of progress on the tentative outline, with the exception of the brilliant and captivating ending that I have not come up with yet. I have begun the editing of the first chapter, infusing what I had before with a new portion. My goal is to get through one chapter a week of the rewriting. I had 12 chapters before, so Im hoping in 12 weeks, I am writing all new material.
As for the books I am currently reading... (why Im not just reading and finishing ONE at a time is a little bit of a mystery to me) they are: On the Brink (the "heavier" book that is thought provoking and I need to not be sleepy when Im reading it), Bright Lights Big Ass (perfect for right before I go to sleep cuz its silly and entertaining and if I miss something cuz Im trying to stay awake took long, its ok), The Shack (I was really liking the book and now Im feeling stuck. I didnt know the plotline very well, and Im not sure how Im feeling about it yet now that Im in the middle), and Im starting Hunger Games and A great and Terrible Beauty (the last one was the subject of a new book club I just went to). I know I had others on my list too, and I have put down Lovely Bones for a bit.
Soooo that's where I am with my writing. I think it helps me to have to verbalize where I am and what I've accomplished. By the way, D and I moved Famous fridays to be Writing Wednesdays. Ha ha I know we are ridiculous for naming them like that. Its fun to write along side someone else that is trying to do the same thing- only completely different genres.
Here is what I am NOT going to do anymore today: think about the butterfly effect. I wonder what effect not thinking about it will have.....
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