Stress....
the equalizing factor among the classes. No matter who you are or what you've accomplished, it seems to leak into your life in some way, often unexpected. I am the first to admit, I don't cope well when I'm stressed. I seem to lose track of simple things, like where I put the keys I was just holding, or that I needed to make a turn back there. I tend to make it worse for myself, just because I've lost my focus and then I end up getting more frustrated. I know that I feel this way when I'm late, unprepared, or I was expecting something and it doesn't go the way I thought it would. Those are personal stressors for me. Stress is an awful feeling, coming in third on my list of I-don't-ever-want-to-feel-this-way-meter. What are the first two, you ask? Grief is number one and guilt is a close second. But I'll go into that another time.
Anyway, I'm on a quest to get rid of the stress in my life, and make myself a happier person. I want to find some balance, especially after having a baby, so many things in my life have changed. I love love love being a mommy- it just means I've had to adjust how I spend my time. I'm sure many new moms go through this, trying to balance juggling their new responsibilities, but not lose themselves completely.
Recently I read a book called"Bringing up Bebe," by Pamela Druckerman, that was very interesting. Pamela Druckerman is an American journalist who moved to Paris right as she has a new baby. She chronicles her new-mommyhood and the differences in American parenting versus French parenting. She watches these Parisian mothers get their babies to sleep through the night, which they term "babies doing their nights" at a very early age- 2 or 3 months. French children are very patient, they eat a wide variety of foods, and are very well behaved. They say hello and goodbye when visiting someone's home and are very polite. The French women are seem to bounce back very quickly from having babies, and get back to the things that made them THEM- back to work and hobbies, fulfilling sex lives and slim figures very quickly.
It was a fascinating read, that I recommend to all mothers. I didn't necessarily agree with everything, but it was so interesting to hear things from such a different perspective, and to question things I never would have even thought to wonder about, just because of being raised in the society that I was raised in.
It seemed overall that the French women appear less stressed and able not to give in on things that cause continual problems. They seem to have found a balance of some sort. This may or may not be the right balance for me, or you, but it was a balance none the less.
I found this creative visual tool called the "wheel of life," which you can read about in more detail and try for yourself here. It's basically a way for you to assess and monitor the different areas in your life so you can see where you are placing most of your time and it might allow you to see why you are feeling stressed out.
You divide up you life into the areas you feel like you need to find balance. Then you asses them on a scale of 1-6, 1 being low and unhappy to 6 being high and fulfilled. The diagram will plot your answers accordingly and you will visually be able to see on a wheel where you are lacking. You can also choose different topics than the ones listed to better suit your needs.
Again, you can try it for yourself on their website.
I did it and the results were kind of surprising. I wasn't very low or high in most areas, a sign that I am spreading myself too thin across the board, and need to reassess what's important to me and make some new efforts. I think when I do this, the unexpected stress factor will pop up less often.
This is a quote from the former CEO of Coca-cola, littleladyhomemaker shared with me the other day:
I love this advice because it is totally true and powerful. I will be keeping this in mind, as I continue to search for, and achieve, balance in my life.
What are your personal stressors? What do you do to combat them? If you are a mom, what things do you do to keep balance between your responsibilities and your YOU time? What areas of your life do you feel are the most important to maintain, regardless of outside stress?
See ya next Wednesday, when I will be balanced and not STRESSED! :)
dizzylittlechatgirl
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